It's Not Easy Being Green
by Y2Jen
Summary: A funny little one shot... InuYasha and friends celebrate their first, and probably last Saint Patrick's Day. enjoy


**It's Not Easy Being Green**… _just ask InuYasha and friends_.

"Guess what today is…!" Kagome beamed happily, a huge smile covering her face.

"Another one of those 'test' things…?" InuYasha snorted behind folded arms.

"Nope." Kagome shook a finger in correction, still grinning stupidly, too happy to even lecture InuYasha on how much she HATED tests.

"Well then what is it?" Shippo blinked, sitting on the ground.

"It's Saint Patrick's Day!" Kagome cheered, raising a fist to the air as she jumped up on one leg.

"Uh, who?" Sang asked, a bit confused.

"Who is this Saint Patrick and why does he have his own damn day?" InuYasha growled, annoyed at the fact that some saint guy with a strange, foreign name like Patrick would have his own day all to himself.

"It's LONG before, err, rather, after, your time." Kagome began to explain. "Long ago, uh, from now, a holiday in Ireland was born. I'm not exactly sure how, or why, I mean I would know if I was in school, but I've been missing so much lately because I'm here so I don't know…" Kagome had begun to ramble.

"Get to the point please…!" InuYasha's veins were starting to throb.

"Oh." Kagome blushed and recomposed, beginning again. "In honor of their traditions, they created on March 17 a holiday called Saint Patrick's Day. And in honor of their home country in Europe, you eat corned beef and potatoes and cabbage." The friends blinked at the odd sounding meal, as she continued, "And if you drink beer then it has to be green, and in some cities in America, a huge land far away in the ocean, they put green dye in the rivers to color it green. And most importantly…" Kagome winked, pulling at her everyday skirt. "You HAVE to wear green!"

"Why?" Sango asked, stroking Kirara on her lap.

"Or else you get PINCHED!" Kagome poised her fingers in a pinching fashion.

"What a ridiculous holiday!" InuYasha barked, nearly falling off his legs under his own disbelief.

"Hey InuYasha…" Kagome's eye twitched slyly.

"What…" He scoffed.

"YOU'RE NOT WEARING GREEN!" She cried, jumping on him giggling crazily as she pinched him and pinched him.

"Ah, hey, cut it out" InuYasha struggled as Kagome laughed crazily. 'Has she finally lost it?' He growled, "Get off of me you psycho, knock it off already!" InuYasha screamed, finally getting her to let go as he got up.

"Fine, don't want to play and have fun on this holiday?" Kagome growled, stomped her foot and took in a deep breath.

"Oh no, not this! I'll take pinching over that, please anything but….!" He couldn't run or hide from what he knew was coming.

"SIT!"

"AH!" Face plant.

"Hmm…" Sango looked down as Kirara jumped off of her lap. "I'm wearing green, my skirt is green." She looked up and saw her cat. "It would be cruel to pinch a harmless cat." Kirara hissed at her owner and prepared to transform in her defense.

"Not to fast!" Kagome revealed that she had in fact already tied a green ribbon around Kirara's neck into a bow.

"Oh." Sango gasped. "She looks so cute!"

"Alright Shippo, your turn! You wear blue and brown, there's no green on you at all!" InuYasha had gotten back up onto his feet.

"Oh no you don't!" Shippo jumped up to get away, throwing a swarm of acorns to buy a few moments of time to explain before another famed InuYasha beating. He pulled a leaf sutra out of his pocket and placed it on his forehead, "Aha, a good luck charm! This leaf is green, and I'm wearing it, so nuts to you InuYasha!" Shippo giggled as InuYasha growled, coming out of the heap of acorns, "Or rather acorns I mean."

"A cheap shot, that's a trick, not an item of clothing!" He jumped up and began to chase Shippo. "Get back here, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow that leaf right off your face!" InuYasha began to blow just like a big bad wolf, chasing after the small fox demon, who cried out in fear.

"That's going against the rules InuYasha, if you pinch somebody wearing green, they get a free punch."

"OW!" Shippo cried just as Kagome finished her warning statement.

"Say what now?" InuYasha paused, Shippo in his fingers, and blinked.

"She said…!" Shippo pulled out his spinning top. "TRANSFORM!"

"AH!" InuYasha began to be buried into the ground.

"I get a free blow." Shippo snickered.

"Why you little…!" InuYasha growled. "Fox magic!" He jumped up, the giant top returning to a regular pocket sized toy. "I'll get you for that, that's no fair! She said a punch, you pint sized pip squeak!"

"Please, just let it go. We're all wearing green." Sango smiled. InuYasha had no green, he had lost Saint Patrick's Day.

"No, wait." InuYasha paused, speaking quietly which was never good, which mean he was thinking and something bad was about to happen. "We seem to be forgetting someone. Somebody who wears all black and purple… and that person…" He turned and pointed. "IS YOU MIROKU!"

"Oh, are you referring to me?" Miroku looked up innocently, having been calm and silent the whole time because of that exact fact. He had been paying attention, listening to Kagome's every word carefully, and now he knew that he was in trouble.

"PINCH HIM!" InuYasha called the attack and jumped up.

"I'm already one step ahead of you." Miroku smiled, his eyes glinting slyly and jumped back.

"Oh no you don't." Sango caught one arm.

"Hey!" Miroku gasped, turning to see Sango behind one shoulder.

"Not so fast." Kagome got the other arm, behind his other shoulder. "You're not going to get away." "Get him InuYasha!" Shippo cheered, happy that it wasn't him getting attacked for once.

"Ah!" InuYasha laughed cruelly. "You're mine now Miroku!"

"Oh, no!" Miroku struggled to get free, his arms were being held by two ladies, but his hands were loose. He was able to reach down and…

"AH!" Kagome and Sango squealed in surprise and jumped back, letting go.

"Ah…" Miroku smiled, free. He got up just before InuYasha could jump on him, "Thanks for the time, I'll be leaving you now!" And with that he took off running.

"No, he's getting away!" Shippo cried.

"Oh no you don't!" InuYasha gave chase.

"Boy, he sure is getting into this." Miroku panted, looking over his shoulder. "He sure is pissed."

"AH!" InuYasha roared loudly as he chased Miroku with claws bared ready for pinching.

"Oh man, he's gaining fast…" Miroku began to get worried. "I have to get out of here, quick."

"Master…!"

"Huh?" Miroku's face froze, he recognized that distant voice. "Oh…!" He gasped and looked up to see… "Hatchi-mon!"

"Don't worry me lord, I'll save you!" Hatchi lowered down next to Miroku and allowed him to jump on board.

"Excellent Hatchi, now let's get out of here!" Miroku sighed happily.

"Aye sir." Hatchi flew back up and floated away.

"AH!" InuYasha roared, raising his fists to the air. "Come back here, get down here and fight me like a man! Let me pinch the hell out of you Miroku, AH!" He jumped up and down, stomping at the ground like a child.

"Ah, you have no idea what they were going to do to me…" Miroku laid down to rest and catch his breath back.

"You must've really done it this time Miroku." Hatchi laughed.

"Oh, no. I'll tell you about it later. Let's find a place to hide and rest it out a bit." Miroku closed his eyes.

"Yes, there's a cave in those hills just ahead." Hatchi flew towards the mountains. Once they landed and Miroku got off, Hatchi transformed back into a raccoon dog. "Here, inside."

"Great, this is perfect." Miroku walked in. "Let's go, come on." He led the way.

"Right." Hatchi followed behind.

"Ah." Miroku sat down. "Boy, of all the things I've ever done, this new mess of Kagome's has to be the worst."

"Oh, you don't say…"

"Anyway, I'll tell you about it later, I'm too tired right now." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back up against the rocky wall.

"You just rest then." Hatchi's voice was quiet.

"Thanks, you're a good friend." Miroku smiled. Hatchi didn't respond. Miroku felt something in the air around him, it was an unsettling feeling, he knew something was going to happen, something bad, but what, who, and when… "AH!" Miroku screamed, jumping up and hitting his head on the stone ceiling above. "Ouch." He rubbed his head, landing back on the ground. "What was that, why did you just pinch me?"

"Because it's Saint Patrick's Day, me lord!" Hatchi wore a big goofy grin. "And you aren't wearing green." He smiled happily and got ready to pinch him again.

"No, Kagome got to you too! I knew I couldn't trust you! AH!" Miroku cried as Hatchi began the pinch attack. "No, please, stop, I beg you, as a friend, OUCH, hey, ow, cut it out! Ugh…" He began to cry. "I hate you Hatchi-mon!"

"I hate you too master Miroku." Hatchi laughed as the echoes of pain and laughter sounded out of the cave and throughout the forest beneath them.

"Yeah." Kagome nodded to himself. "I'll bet Miroku wishes now that he had a different wardrobe."

"No matter, it's just one stupid holiday in the future. We live in the past." InuYasha shrugged, having returned to a normal less insane state. He relaxed, sitting down with his arms behind his head. "Tomorrow things will be back to business as usual…"

"I'm just glad this is all a little bit after our time…" Sango sighed, Kirara cooing on her lap.

"Hey wait…" Shippo began to think to himself. "I never DID pinch InuYasha for not wearing green now did I…" He turned and slowly began to lean towards him.

"Do it and you die."

"AH!" Shippo jumped back and shivered, cowering in defense. "Boy, how did he know…?" Dogs just seem to always know…


End file.
